forgiveness

there are wolves here abound*

[O teu velório tem sido público mas eu posso jurar que tu ainda não te sabes cadáver. Estou certa que vagueias pela noite à procura de outra imagem de ti, confuso por chegar sempre ao ponto de partida, vazio do constante rodopio. 

O corpo, imóvel, não espera nada, observa apenas a natureza imutável do teu medo de ser, de sentir. Sinto o movimento a nascer, o ombro num gesto imperceptível, contrário aos pés. A luz muda, o frio do rio lembra que é hora de voltar a casa e eu dou-me mais uns minutos, três, cinco, não mais que isso. Concedo, talvez um pouco mais, até que a humidade se cole na pele, até que mesmo de casaco vestido comece a tremer. 

Como posso não olhar? não tarda chegarão impecavelmente vestidos para juntar as flores, baixar a tampa, e tu deixarás de ser real. Quando me cruzar contigo sentirei o arrepio mas já não pertencerás a este mundo. Ficarás reduzido a essa sensação gelada de vazio. Não é triste que se tenha tornado tão previsível? Não é triste que se morra a cada tentativa? Já sinto os salpicos, estou quase a ir...]

*

Nothing is better
Nothing is best.
We are unhappy
We are unblessed.
We are unfound.
We are unseen.
Nothing is coming.
Nothing is clean.
Earth it is shaking, people fled
and lord she is taking the eyes from the dead.
Demonised body, exorcised mind
pieces of kindness exchanged in kind.
Nothing is better.
Nothing is best.
We are unhappy.
We are unblessed.
Mind it is going.
Faith is destroyed.
It's emptiness showing god's cruelty deployed.
Lovers have left.
Friends close their eyes.
Children bereft.
We all are unwise.
Nothing is better.
Nothing is best.
We are unhappy.
We are unblessed.
We are unhappy.


Bonnie 'Prince' Billy

...

Then a monster will get you
And love does no good

BPB

blindlessness

won't we?

If you love me and I’m weak, then weaker you must love me more,
(...)
And in the morning we’ll wrestle and ruin our stomachs with coffee,
Won’t we be, won’t we be, won’t be so happy?

(*)

Bonnie 'Prince' Billy

as a reminder

We got empty tummies but it won't always be
One day it's gonna be quail and dumplings for we


Bonnie 'Prince' Billy

I’ll say goodbye before we meet
It’s not who I am
It’s who I’ll never be.

"Only to find everything had grown"

I am a cinematographer
I am a cinematographer
O, I am a cinematographer
O, I am a cinematographer

And I walked away from New York city
And I walked away from everything that's good
And I walked away from everything I leaned on
Only to find it's made of wood, made of wood

And I was a big ol' bear once
O, I was a big ol' bear once
O, I was a big ol' bear once
O, I was a big ol' bear once

And I walked away from California
And I walked away from everything that's shown
And I walked away from everything I lived for
Only to find everything had grown, everything had grown

Now, I am a cinematographer
O, I am a cinematographer
O, I am a cinematographer
O, I am a cinematographer

If you were alone
You could walk away from Louisville alone


Bonnie 'Prince' Billy

"and what do you want, warm heart?"

i´ll be alright

Bonnie prince billy on cottleston pie by Cottleston Pie on Mixcloud

strange form of life

stripped

Will you miss me when I burn
And will you eye me with a longing?
It is longing that I feel
To be missed for, to be real


Bonnie 'Prince' Billy

Ruby

Werner's last blues to blockbuster

Triumph of Will

Solemn 119

How long are we gonna be riding?

Señor, señor, you know their hearts is as hard as leather
Well, give me a minute, let me get it together
I just gotta pick myself up off the floor
I'm ready when you are, señor.

Señor, señor, let's overturn these tables
Disconnect these cables
This place don't make sense to me no more
Can you tell me what we're waiting for, señor?

Bob Dylan
[pelo próprio]