[so fuckin' broken, I am.]

"you'll soon forget the tune that you play"

The kiss don't know
What the lips will say

(...)

Time is just memory
mixed in with Desire
That's not the road it is
Only the map...I say
gone just like matches


Tom Waits (*)

What if I had stood there at the end
(...)
Would that have been a suitable goodbye?



Bill Callahan (*)

Hey, that's no way to say goodbye

I loved you in the morning
Our kisses deep and warm
Your head upon the pillow
Like a sleepy golden storm.
Yes, many loved before us
I know that we are not new,
In city and in forest
They smiled like me and you,
But now it's come to distances
And both of us must try,
Your eyes are soft with sorrow,
Hey, that's no way to say goodbye.

Leonard Cohen (*)

"Good plans are made by hand"

And each day I looked out on the land
And I wondered what all was gone
Until I saw it was lucky old me
How could I run without losing anything?
How could I run without becoming lean?
(...)
And now I know you must reap what you sow
Or sing.


Bill Callahan

Medieval Romances

Note to self

With trembling hand I turned toward her
And pushed the hair out of her eyes
The kitten jumped back to her lap
As I sat sadly by her side

Then she drew the curtains down
And said, "When will you ever learn
That what happens there beyond the glass
Is simply none of your concern?
God has given you but one heart
You are not a home for the hearts of your brothers

And God does not care for your benevolence
Anymore than he cares for the lack of it in others
Nor does he care for you to sit
At windows in judgement of the world He created
While sorrows pile up around you
Ugly, useless and over-inflated"

Nick Cave (*)

"The gaunt fruit of passion dies in the light"*

*Anita Lane

What do you think I'd see
If I could walk away from me?

É angustiante saber-me tão incapaz de equilíbrio.

Darkest Birds

Here come the darkest birds
To burst the bubble
End of a perfect day
Head full of trouble

Here come the darkest birds
All tar and feathers
Why did none of them dream of trying
To make things better?

Those are the mimicking kind
They are, they are
I number myself among them
The furthest star

And this is the road I walked on
When I shot you down
All words of forgiveness useless
They won't help me now
And I should've been there for you
When you called my name
I promise to tread more lightly
Though what's gone is gone
It's such a shame

Here come the darkest birds
They've got their reasons
All their pretty colours are gone
Washed out of season

Those are the soaring kind
They are, they are
I number yourself among them
The brightest star

And this is the road I walked on
When I shot you down
All words of forgiveness useless
They won't serve me now
And I should've been there for you
When you called my name
I promise to tread more lightly
Though what's done is done
It's such a shame

The Banality Of Evil
I've got me a badge
A bright shiny badge
I'm painting the crest in yellow and blue

I've got me a club
An exclusive club
It doesn't include a place for you

Hey?..hello neighbour
Hey?..hello neighbour, right you are

It's in the way that you walk
All of the changes, all the mistakes
In the demands you constantly make

It's in the way that you grieve
All of the loss
You don't know when you're better off
Or at what cost
You've got it good


David Sylvian

Gone For Good

(...)
I'm never going to dig out your picture
I'm never going to look you up someday
Life is very short
You don't love me anymore
So I'm never going to see you again
I'm never going to write you a letter
Never going to call you on the phone
I'm never going to drive by your house
I'm never going to catch you coming outside
Never going to walk up your walk
And ring your bell
And feel you fall into my arms
(...)

Mark Sandman

Triumph of Will

Beautiful Child

Daily status

Entre a luta interna e a exposição.

custa-me tocar nas pessoas (...) não é que não me apeteça, há alturas em que me apetece mas se tocasse dissolvia-me nelas e não tornava a ser eu



António Lobo Antunes, Não é Meia Noite Quem Quer

S.

(...) há pessoas que demoram tanto tempo a deixar-nos, o corpo vai-se mas os olhos permanecem ali, iguais aos cachorros largados longe que regressam sempre, não zangados, humildes, abre-se a porta e não se atrevem a entrar, molhados de chuva (...)



António Lobo Antunes, Não é Meia Noite Quem Quer

A estrada é longa

Foi emocionalmente brutal. Não houve célula neste corpo que saísse incólume.
No silêncio interior - que mantenho circunscrito - basta o múrmurio do teu nome para que a reacção seja imediata, visceral, carregada de lágrimas.

(*)

Solemn 119

Shade of the Sun

"Every corner abandoned too soon"

Your confusion
My illusion
Worn like a mask of self-hate
Confronts and then dies
Don't walk away

People like you find it easy
Naked to see
Walking on air
Hunting by the rivers
Through the streets
Every corner abandoned too soon
Set down with due care
Don't walk away in silence

Ian Curtis

"We grew a flower in the desert, we grew terrified"

[...]

You cried wolf
I tracked one down
And let it in

There were lambs
Sure, there was blood
There were psalms to sing
You could just see the bone jut out
Penetrate the skin
Did it dispel beyond all doubt
The mess we’re in?

You raised your head
I stared you down
You still don’t know how

And if you think you knew me then
You don’t know me now

I was happy
Satiated
I was satisfied


David Sylvian

"the road is dangerous"

Oh, I have learned
when things are beautiful, 
when things are beautiful...
just keep on.

Bill Callahan

"No navigation system"

I always went wrong in the same place
where the river splits towards the sea


Bill Callahan

note to self

De qualquer maneira, a arte da espera não é uma brincadeira. É assunto bem sério, caro mortal.



Gonçalo M. Tavares, Visão nº 1073

Apago os nove dígitos? Rasgo os despojos? Mudo o pretérito para perfeito? Faço de conta que nada se passou? A distância «aumenta as grandes paixões e cura as pequenas», mas eu já nem sei se quero sossego, esperança ou desastre.


Pedro Mexia, Lei Seca


[regressaste com o Outono e tens ocupado mais espaço do que aquele que seria razoável.]

poetrY.

Y.

Y.

Halfsleeper

As palavras são objectos magros incapazes de conter o mundo.



valter hugo mãe, Visão nº 1072 [sobre A Desumanização]

"a iminência da catástrofe é absoluta"

É a visão do terrível da beleza. A beleza está lá toda mas não nos devemos enganar com a sua opulência: a Islândia é um lugar atacante, toda ela se propõe a revolver-se, a regenerar-se, aniquilando. A maneira como congela, como degela, como arde, como entra em erupção, como inunda... Toda a calma é aparente e a iminência da catástrofe é absoluta. A perigosidade da Islândia é honesta. Nós é que somos tolos por acharmos que ela está ali a gostar de nós: somos só nós a gostar dela.

valter hugo mãe, Visão nº 1072


[seria capaz de jurar que tu foste um lugar assim... terrivelmente belo, intocável e devastador.]

It's easier now

Serenade

Cold discovery

Well, I can hold a woman down on a hardwood floor
Well, I can hold a woman down on a hardwood floor
And your teeth can gnash right through me
Looking for a soft place
And of this you won't soon forget
I had no soft place for you to rest
And this was your, your cold discovery
Your cold discovery

Well, I can hold a woman down on a hardwood floor
Well, I can hold a woman down on a hardwood floor
This was my, my cold discovery
My cold discovery

If you saw it for what it really was
My cold discovery
My cold discovery
My cold discovery

Bill Callahan (* &*)


(unfortunately, took you far too long to realize it.)

"born to black in a perfect blue sky"

For the first time in my life
I am moving away, moving away, moving away
From within the reach of me

Bill Callahan

a casualty...

swans

What if it's all just a mistake in the translation?...


Blixa Bargeld*

I wanna strangle the stars for all they promised me.

(*)


Nicole Blackman

Messenger

Às vezes somos nós que partimos entregando-nos aos desafios, aos outros, aos sítios... como quem procura amenizar o peso da escolha. Outras, vemo-los partir e, impotentes, resignamo-nos à ausência e ao entusiasmo em segunda mão.

...

[S.'s] game of chance

for a while now

Alice - Isto deve ser o eterno tormento? Quer dizer que isto não tem fim?


Dança da Morte, August Strindberg

*

"I find it remarkable that most people don't seem to see the world as being, essentially, a very sad place because I think it is."

Rowland S. Howard, Autoluminescent

"my narcotic lollipop"*

* Rowland S. Howard

So why can't I touch it?

Well it seems so real I can see it
And it seems so real I can feel it
And it seems so real I can taste it
And it seems so real I can hear it
So why can't I touch it?
So why can't I touch it?

Buzzcocks

note to self

Evito a escrita como evito a vida, reiteradamente e com ténue convicção.

note to all

[Fui presença assídua em todos os desencontros.]

Lhasa's booklet

I like beautiful melodies telling me terrible things.


Tom Waits