for a while now

Alice - Isto deve ser o eterno tormento? Quer dizer que isto não tem fim?


Dança da Morte, August Strindberg

*

"I find it remarkable that most people don't seem to see the world as being, essentially, a very sad place because I think it is."

Rowland S. Howard, Autoluminescent

"my narcotic lollipop"*

* Rowland S. Howard

So why can't I touch it?

Well it seems so real I can see it
And it seems so real I can feel it
And it seems so real I can taste it
And it seems so real I can hear it
So why can't I touch it?
So why can't I touch it?

Buzzcocks

note to self

Evito a escrita como evito a vida, reiteradamente e com ténue convicção.

note to all

[Fui presença assídua em todos os desencontros.]

Lhasa's booklet

I like beautiful melodies telling me terrible things.


Tom Waits

always failing to remember why

Waiting here, always failing to remember
Why we came, came, came,
I wonder why we came


You talk to me as if from a distance
And I reply with impressions chosen
From another time, time, time
From another time.

Brian Eno

A C. e F. que não param de me espantar

Foram duas semanas pródigas em surpresas - daquelas mesmo muito boas.

(Das que nos fazem sentir pequeninos por recebermos tanto.)

"Hold on to your heart, even when your body's bitter"

Even so, it hurts sometimes...

I recall the black days,
the blackest one
it's not the last one but it's there
and somewhere down there,
I'm smiling, still smiling,
I'm smiling from the bottom of my shapeless soul
I'm smiling, still smiling.

(...)

I recall the black days,
the cuts and the recovery from unnecessary growth
I recall these black days,
as maybe grim and villainized 
but also colourful
and somewhere down there,
I'm smiling, still smiling.


Blixa Bargeld

O dia teve mais horas do que devia. Teve também mais emoções do que as que cabem em 50 minutos.

I will return here one day 
And dig up my bones from the clay 
I buried nails and strings and hair 
And that old tooth I believe was a bear's 

I held my hand in the fire 
It burned me down to the wires 

Blood suckers hide beneath my bed 
And black fumes of skin so gently bled 
I slept with a cat on my breast 
Slowing my heart stealing my breath 

At sunrise the monkeys will fly 
And leave me with pennies in my eyes 

I will return here one day 
And dig up my bones from the clay 
I buried nails and string and hair 
And that old tooth I believe was a bear's 

At sunrise the monkeys will fly 
And leave me with pennies in my eyes

Mark Linkous*

"just teething for a foreign fallen destiny"

Now that I'm alone I feel the lonely brokeness
of all the wicked avenues I've ever sold my love on
all these moments of meekness and trembling subsided
I'm the outright abandon of this orphan child
home is on the highway living on soft bread and solace
I guess I'm waiting for nightfall or a solar eclipse
and to wake up half empty
only to be filled again with mourning
he's my evil shadow dove
my black palamito
can't break him like a diamond skull
I can't seem to do so
can't just rob him out like the
mob used to do so
like memories of porno and tearstains
and tobacco 
O it's a mini disastro
bigger than the ice age don't know if baby dinosaurs
maybe could live throught it, like indians and butterflies
what's crushed is my spirit, oh I fear it is too fragile
like fall leaves burn like paper

(...)

Oh I'm just a fall leaf something simple and shy like that
that's how my heart lies down beside the sidewalk
like an empty restaurant filled with perfume and balloons
I sit and entertain the bizarro ghosts of my soul
his name still lingers maybe lactates on my tongue
perhaps I'm just teething for a foreign fallen destiny
miserable but mine, I look like his mother
or Sophia Loren in an old fashioned movie
slow motion I cling to my child desesperate for love
one day soon my brohter died, made me remember all the
subordinate feelings I cast aside
maybe I had lied when I said I was ok
just getting along like a little song that stops to sing and say
"wild willow, windy winter won't you blow through me
my whole eternity"

Cocorosie

Note to self

A [minha] zona 1224 - 1225 parece interminável.